


Two Hours

by ElvaDeath



Series: The World of Asano Gakushuu [1]
Category: Assassination Classroom
Genre: Gakuhou's Terrible Parenting, Gakushuu is Bad at Feelings, Gakushuu is lonely, Honestly it's pretty depressing, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M, Sad Ending, Why are there no tags that match?, but nothing I write about Gakushuu is ever happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-04
Updated: 2019-12-04
Packaged: 2021-02-26 18:48:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21673318
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ElvaDeath/pseuds/ElvaDeath
Summary: Gakushuu sits in his room, alone. Ren is leaving, soon, and Gakushuu doesn't know what to do.Two hours left to decide.
Relationships: Asano Gakushuu/Sakakibara Ren
Series: The World of Asano Gakushuu [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1657669
Comments: 8
Kudos: 65
Collections: Asano Gakushuu Centric





	Two Hours

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know. Hopefully it's ok. I think my brain is malfunctioning from stress, cause mocks are next week and I literally have done zero revision. Not even picked up a book to flick through. Pretty sure I'm gonna fail.
> 
> Therefore, here is depressing Gakushuu! It's the type of fic that really annoys me when I read it, but really satisfying to write.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> \- E.D.

"I don't understand."

Ren huffs in exasperation, one hand still cupping Gakushuu's cheek. "Shuu, you don't need to understand. You just feel."  
He leans forward again, but Gakushuu presses a hand to his chest and pushes him back gently. "It's not logical. You're saying that we kiss, and then somehow we will know. But if the conclusion is that one of us likes the other, and the other doesn't reciprocate the feelings, what would the solution be? And how will a kiss determine if love is there? Love is not physical. Attraction is physical. Love is an emotion, and emotions stem from the brain, so can we not do a more accurate test?"  
Ren watches him quietly throughout his tangent, slowly leaning back. "Oh, Shuu…"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Gakushuu Asano is a psychopath. Or a sociopath. He hasn't quite decided yet, and he's not sure he wants to. Especially in moments like those. Having a mental difference means people react to you differently, and the last thing Gakushuu needs right now is to be isolated even more than he is.  
At first, the 'thing' with Ren had been to educate him in human emotion, and explore the extent of Gakushuu's detachment. That was what he had told Ren, and Ren had laughed and told him "If that's the excuse you need to give your dad, go ahead." Gakushuu had been puzzled at his reaction. Ren should know that if Gakushuu had been lying, he would have picked a better excuse.

Maybe it is all an act for his father. Children tend to pick up habits from their parents, in particular if they want to impress. The coldness of his father's heart is constant, and without his mother there, Gakushuu had almost been destined to pick up most aspects. The later training from his father had been enough to wipe away all traces of humanity left.  
So now Gakushuu is left as an empty shell, fumbling through human emotion. He knows anger, when his father humiliates him. He knows fear, when his father leaves beaten bodies and blood for him to clean up. He knew some twisted form of delight, when his father hit him across the room. It all revolves around his father, and Gakushuu hates that.

He sits in his room, alone, forehead pressed against the wall. This is his favourite spot when everything gets too much, the corner of the room covered in white cushions. No noise, no colour, no people to watch him. Except his father, but his father knows to leave him alone when he's like this. What 'this' is has always been the ultimate question, because it sticks in Gakushuu's chest for at least a day, sometimes even a week, without any cause other than his thoughts.

Ren is leaving. If they had kissed, that day, he might have stayed. But Gakushuu had been like this, trapped in the web of his mind, so Ren had said goodbye and left to pack. 

Two hours to go. Specifically 1 hour, 57 minutes and 42 seconds. 41 seconds. 40.

He stands. Blood rushes to his head, making him stumble. He walks to the bathroom, socks sticking to the thick carpet, tiny fibres of thread pulling away and staying there. A metaphor for life, if you will. Gakushuu's face in the polished mirror is carved like a marble statue, all cheekbones and amethyst eyes. Pretty. When he's older those lines will harden, or sallow, or vanish under layers of fat. Eventually those lines will be burnt away, or rot into dirt. Temporary.

1 hour, 34 minutes, 29 seconds.

He eats. Father is at school, in a meeting to prepare the next Chairman of the school. The housekeeper left some lasagne in the fridge, which he heated up and is making his way through, bite by bite. The clock ticks. A car passes. He switches on the radio, to fill the space with meaningless chatter. It doesn't help.

1 hour, 6 minutes, 31 seconds.

The dishwasher still clunks, despite being top of the range. Gakushuu tries to ignore it, head buried in sums and equations, theories he can understand and have a practical use. What's the area of a circle? The square of the radius multiplied by pi. What's Pythagorus's theorem? A squared added to b squared is equal to c squared. What's the reason he couldn't kiss Ren? Not a clue.

46 minutes, 51 seconds.

Perhaps he should say goodbye. At least then Ren could get some closure, know they are still friends.  
Gakushuu stands. Sits. Stands. Walks to the front door. Walks to the living room. Walks to the window. Stares out at the quiet street, lined with towering houses, cowardly people peeking from their curtains as though a massive structure can keep them safe. If only that were so. Gakushuu could build a palace with his father's money, and hide in there for the rest of his life, avoiding contact with anyone else. Pure bliss, right? Gakushuu isn't sure.

32 minutes, 58 seconds.

He leaves the house. Ren lives in the centre of town, right in the beating heart of the aristocratic nightlife. He once tried to take Gakushuu along, make him loosen up, but Gakushuu spent the entire time trying to assess why people would actually want to consume alcohol. Most would have work the next day, based on their age, so why would they voluntarily choose to have a hangover the next day? It wasn't logical.  
They had argued, that night, when Gakushuu had sat in the corner far away from the sweat-soaked bodies. Ren couldn't understand him. He couldn't understand Ren.

19 minutes, 53 seconds.

His feet take him in the direction they always do: Ren's apartment. It's the only place he ever walks to in town, considering his father drives him to classes and he never visits anywhere else without his minions. Friends. Ren.  
What should he say? 'Hi Ren, I don't know why I'm here, but I am. Surprise?' No, that's stupid. Make up an excuse. 'Hello. I know you're about to leave in about ten seconds, but I need help with an essay.' No, no, no, also stupid.  
'Ren, I'm sorry. Please stay. You're the only one who understands me, and I need you with me. Is it too late?'

5 minutes, 12 seconds.

He's opening the doors, pace picking up. The receptionist silently hands him the keys, familiar enough with his face to let him through without complaint. The lift is slow, dragging down floor by floor, people clogging up the building. Ping! The doors slide open, and he squeezes himself between a businessman and a woman all in purple.

3 minutes, 1 second.

Seventh floor. One hundred and two paces down. His heart thuds in his chest, words scrambling in his mind, feet almost tripping over themselves. What should he say? What would Ren say? Will he stay? Please stay. Please, please, please…

1 minute, 4 seconds.

He raps his knuckles on the door, and waits. Movement inside. Jittery, Gakushuu pulls at the corner of his sleeve, worry nibbling the inside of his chest. Now he knows worry, when Ren gives him ultimatums.  
A woman - Ren's mother - opens the door. She smiles at him, her official smile for the press and important guests. He supposes she still sees him as important, being the Chairman's son.  
"Yes, dear?"  
"Is Ren there? I would like to speak with him before he leaves."

Her mouth twists down. "Sorry, darling."  
No. No, there's still 37 seconds to go. No. No. No.  
"He left two hours ago."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They meet, years later, at a gathering of the upper class. Ren has a boyfriend, a fiancé. Gakushuu doesn't.  
Actually, to say they meet would be a stretch. Gakushuu sees him, across the room, laughing with all the charm of his school days. The fiancé is handsome, too, and evidently just as charming and understanding of human emotion. Perhaps Ren taught this man, this stranger, in Gakushuu's place. Perhaps, if not for that two hour gap, Gakushuu would be the one standing there, all smiles, with his arm around Ren's waist and Ren's ring around his finger.

The thing comes back. He leaves. It does no good dreaming of what could have been, because it's not logical. It's a waste of time. He's done what he's done, and that's that.

Two hours passes, and a dream of a kiss fades.


End file.
